Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Lucky

I once had a dog called Lucky when I was a kid. But I guess he wasn't that lucky at all.

On one particularly random day, my sister and I with our crazy imagination decided to make a birthday cake for Lucky, our white energetic furball. It wasn't his birthday, but we imagined that it was. So we made a really special cake out of soil and other stuff which I don't really remember and presented it to Lucky. We even sang Happy Birthday to him.

That night, Lucky died.

My dad left the gate open when he went out to buy us supper. Lucky saw his chance to venture out so he ran out of the gate without us noticing. When my dad came back on his motorbike, there's was this white thing in his motorbike basket. My dad cuddled it in his arms and I took a closer look and that was when I realized it was Lucky. With blood stains on his fur. Stiff as a statue. Dead.

He got ran over by a car.

I cried and cried while my dad wrapped him up in newspapers and buried him.

That night was a really sad night. Lucky was my first pet dog.

And I never celebrated any of my pets' birthday again.

Saturday, 26 April 2014

Superman Everywhere

Last night when my family and I went to Farley, my sister and I noticed something funny - While walking here and there, we would spot some random girl or guy wearing a Superman t-shirt. We counted. And there were like about 5 to 6 people wearing a Superman t-shirt. And there was this little kid who wore a Superman pyjamas. 


And that night BEFORE going to Farley, I decided to put on my Batman t-shirt instead of my Superman t-shirt.


Teehee :D




It's Finally Revealed

After waiting for some time after Petronas Youngstars Day, our results came out on the 25th of April! I had a few problems trying to log in but finally I did and TAAAAAAAAAADDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HERE'S MY RESULT!!!


I failed to obtain the scholarship.

Well, it wasn't exactly a big disappointment for me, cause I'm not 100% sure if I wanted to become an engineer, and I didn't aim for it 100%. But still, I felt kind of sad and happy at the same time. ONCE AGAIN. MIXED FEELINGS.

I was happy because I kind of got an answer from God. Cause some time around the interview I told God that if He wanted me to become a engineer, He'd give me this scholarship (I chose mechanical engineering and chemical engineering during application). And if He has others arrangements for me, then I'd follow His plans. And now He didn't grant me this scholarship, which means He has better things in store for me when I go on with my A-levels in Sunway. And I'm taking Biology. In case God wants me to pursue something else instead of those engineering fields which don't require Biology.

And for the sad part...well, it shows that I didn't do well for the interview. I could not speak as good as others, nor present good points and suggestions to the issue given to me. I showed no leadership skills. I had no abilities in doing those things. No matter how hard I try I still couldn't find that inner confidence hidden somewhere inside of me. Or maybe it isn't there at all. See, I'm doubting myself.

And I feel even sadder when I think of my parents who hope I get this scholarship because being able to graduate and work for Petronas is something many people dream of having. Cause you don't have to spend a cent on the whole journey of education until you graduate (but you have to meet up the requirements) and if you work for Petronas you're gonna be rich. Something like that. It guarantees you a bright future. My parents spent so much money just to get me to Petronas Youngstars Day. Flight tickets. Baju kurung. And their precious time. My aunt even offered to iron my baju kurung for me the night before the big day. Which made me feel guilty for wasting her energy.

But after sometime doing some self-reflecting and inner-pondering, I managed to crawl out of that sadness and believe in that happiness. I took this whole thing as a valuable experience for me to learn from. It taught me that out there, there are lots of people who are better than I am, and lots of people who are better than they are, but everyone has their own special abilities, their own seasons to shine and their own moments of glory. It taught me that academic results don't define everything about a person, and that it takes more than that to achieve something. It taught me that confidence is pretty crucial especially when one speaks. It taught me that it's okay to make mistakes as long as I learn from them. It taught me that my parents really love me and they would do anything for me to ensure that I have a glowing future.

And it taught me to trust God's plans cause God will direct me along the path He knows is the best for me.


"Nevermind!! You know, actually going to college is a good thing too. You can learn and improve yourself on these things and prepare better for the future. We must learn together. All of us have things we need to work on. Behold, our future is bright!!!" ---Kimberley Chew

"NONONONO YOU CAN'T THINK LIKE THIS. Don't zhi bei. Once zhi bei you lose everything." ---Emily Lau




Petronas Youngstars Day 2014 (Part 2)

After those tests, we had lunch. Eunice and I started talking to two girls who were from Sarikei. One was called Annie and one was Winnie. Girls from the same school. Pretty cool. After lunch, it was the verbal test, the one I feared the most. Group B was brought into a room with 4 tables. There were 16 of us, and we were divided into small groups with 4 each. In my small group, there's Jazlan (Malay-Chinese Boy), Najah (Malay girl) and Eva (Iban girl). We got to know each other. They were really friendly and I remembered that Najah kept smiling at me whenever I looked at her :)

Each group was given 4 papers on the same topic which was Education Policy but each member has a different education policy. We were then given 30 minutes to think of points and suggestions and stuff I didn't really get according to the requirements on our own paper without discussing with anyone except our own minds. So after I read my paper I was like "Okay. I understand everything that's written here but I DON'T FREAKING UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS WHOLE THING WANTS DANG IT I'M DEAD MEAT." But still I brainstormed points for my paper even though I think they're already out of the topic.



The interview was divided into two parts, INDIVIDUAL INTERVIEW and GROUP INTERVIEW. We waited outside the interview room, clutching our papers and waiting for our turns. Eva was the first to go in, then Jazlan, then me, then Najah. When I went in, I was greeted by two interviewers. Both were Malays. They asked if I'm Christal, and asked me where I'm from. Then they invited me to sit on a chair. Then the request which made my heart skipped a beat, which I hoped they wouldn't make, which I had no idea how to answer, popped out from them, "Introduce yourself." Usually when people ask me to introduce myself, I'd start with my name. But since they knew my name already, my mind went blank. Then suddenly out of nowhere I blurted out, "I'm Chinese." THAT WAS A STUPID THING TO SAY. Both of them nod their heads but I could sense that in their minds they were like "Duh...OBVIOUSLY." I sounded so racist which I had no intention to do so.

I continued by talking about my hobbies and my family. Then after I was done introducing myself, the interviewers asked me to discuss about my points for my given paper. Dang it. I did pretty bad at it, talking non-stop on unrelated things and going out of topic. But people told me that for this, it doesn't matter if your answers are right or wrong. It's your response and actions towards the issues given to you that really count.

After the individual assessment, it was time for the group interview. The four of us walked in and greeted the two same interviewers. We were then seated according to our sequences. When we were all ready, Eva started the group discussion. BAM. I COULD SEE LEADERSHIP EXPLODING FROM HER. Each of us talked about our policy and I realised that I was really out of the topic so I simply said things and was like Yeah that's all I've got. Najah, Eva and Jazlan on the other hand spoke very confidently on their points. Man, they are really outstanding people. All I really did on the interview was support their points. I nodded my head at what they said and kept saying "Yes you're right", "Yes that's good" and something like that. At least I'm playing my part as a supportive team member I guess. While we discussed, the judges watched and observed. I felt so uncomfortable knowing that there were two pair of eyes watching our every step. We discussed until we chose the suitable policy as our conclusion and presented it to the interviewers. AND FINALLY THE INTERVIEW HAS ENDED!!!

We walked out of the room feeling free and unleashed. We took our tea break food, sat down and ate together. Najah and Jazlan used their phones to take selfies of all of us together. I told them that they were amazing. They really did well. Then I caught up with Eunice on her interview with her group and she told me that she felt like she talked out of topic too. My mum and aunt came early to pick me up so I said goodbye to everyone. Eva and Najah hugged me which was a very heartwarming way of parting. It was kind of weird you know, because at the beginning of the interview no one talked to each other except for his or her own friends and in the end we got to know new people but we had to part real fast and it was kind of saddening and happy at the same time. Mixed feelings. And it was really sad too having to say goodbye to Eunice. Life is truly a bowl of salad.
My baju kurung has the same colour as the Petronas logo!

It was a really memorable day for Eunice and I
After the whole Petronas Youngstars Day, my mum and I enjoyed ourselves in Kuching for one more day.
We went shopping and eating at different places.

Kuching's various kuihs and black soya bean
ROCK AND ROLL
And I played with my cousin's tiny pet:


Then we flew back on the 16th of April, a very early flight in the morning.

Engineers checking the plane

What a beautiful day
By the way, I don't have the answer for that diagrammatic test question in Petronas Youngstars Day (Part 1) :P

Petronas Youngstars Day 2014 (Part 1)

When I was shortlisted for this Petronas Youngstars Day, I got really thrilled and nervous because it was the first time that I joined something like this. I had been interviewed once before in Form 5 for the Sunway Pre-U scholarship, but it was really different because it was only a one to one interview whereby the interviewer asked questions while I answered.
My first interview was for this.
Anyway before I went to the Petronas Youngstars Day, I googled up a few blogs of people who had attended this event before and absorbed in all the advice I could from their experiences. Their posts on this event are really helpful, so here they are: My Obscure NookPetronas Youngstars Day 2013 (Michelle Teoh)Petronas Youngstars Day 2013 (Gary Wong).

None of my friends were going with me to Petronas Youngstars Day, which kinda dragged me down cause of the fear of being alone. However, God knew that and He surprised me with a companion - Eunice!!! It had been a long time since I met her and she's attending the event on the same date as I was. I was so happy to have a friend there and that eased my pressure on this whole thing.

I was to attend this event on 15 April 2014. So on 14 April, my mum and I took an evening flight from Sibu to Kuching. We stayed at our grandmother's house as usual.
On the way to Sibu Airport
Random pictures on board the plane:


 Night view of Kuching from plane window:




On the morning of 15 April 2014, I woke up full of anxiety. After getting prepared and ready in my Baju Kurung, we set out to Pullman Hotel which was the venue of Petronas Youngstars Day. It was my first time putting on a Baju Kurung so I felt kind of uneasy and weird when my mum and my aunt and I went to a coffee shop for light breakfast.It's not common to see a teenage Chinese girl walking around in a Baju Kurung in Kuching. But it made me feel special too haha. Anyway when I reached there for registration, I could see Eunice already lining up and she waved to me and I waved back super enthusiastically. I could see that everyone was smartly dressed. The boys wore really smart clothes and many of them have that kind of "engineer look" that my engineer uncle has. And all girls wore baju kurung except one Chinese girl who wore a dress and a cardigan and leggings. She looks like a really high class executive or manager.

Candidates during registration. And I look like a blue jellyfish here.
During registration, the Petronas people gave us a recycling bag with booklets inside and our name tags.



They checked our documents. I saw a girl with incomplete documents talking to her mother on the phone about her problem. And I saw this one guy's envelop which got a "Incomplete" chop landed on it. Yikes.
After registration, we were provided breakfast which was really good. I talked to Eunice and caught up with her plans for her future. We talked about lots of stuff which killed off time until we were all called into a big hall for the briefing. Many Petronas people went on stage to brief us on different things. There was this one guy who asked "Who would like to work for Petronas in the future?" and once that question ended, EVERYONE in the hall shot up their hands like quicksilver except for me. Because honestly, I'm not 100% sure if I wanted to work for Petronas. But as everyone's hand was in the air, I raised my quietly too. Those who saw me probably thought I was one weird kid. But I'm being honest. Some would say that I'm being stupid I guess.

There were 3 groups this time, Group A, Group B and Group C. Eunice and I were both in Group B, which was a really big blessing for me. Group A was given the Verbal Test first, which was what you call the interview. Group B sat for the Maths and Science Test and the Critical Thinking Test first. Group C waited for both to finish. For the Maths and Science Test, the questions were from our Form 4 and Form 5 science subjects - Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Addmaths. All were multiple choice questions. OH YES WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO USE CALCULATORS! Luckily only a few questions required counting (I suck at counting by heart). The Critical Thinking Test was kind of hard because it's nothing we learn in school. Before you sit for this test, please do some DIAGRAMMATIC TESTS online. They are a big help cause they'll open your mind to different ways of tackling those weird questions.

A diagrammatic test question:

Guess which pattern comes next?
(TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2...)

Friday, 25 April 2014

The Other Side Of A Human

Everyone has their cartoon side I guess.

Me with my cap on
Doodle me with her cap on



















Me with my camera
Doodle me with her camera



What Do I Want To Be In The Future?

It's kind of hard to answer the question above. When people ask me that, I just tell them that I'm not sure. I'm really not sure.
So full of uncertainties as I watch the world spin by.

You see, when I was a kid, I dreamed of being a doctor when I grow up. My mother and my relatives used to keep telling me that I was meant to be one. It was set in my mind that in the future, becoming a doctor is the best thing ever among all other careers which I didn't know about.
My mum bought a toy doctor kit for me for my birthday.

When I got to Form 4 in secondary school, my dream changed. For my first exam on biology, I got 68 marks. It was not that bad...but still, that single paper crushed my ambition of pursuing the medical field. Because in my mind, how can one become a doctor if they suck at biology? One little change can make a big difference. So for Form 4 and Form 5, I did not do well in my biology papers. I literally gave up on biology and worked hard on other subjects. Plus my biology teachers for two years made biology boring. Their lessons never worked their way into my mind in class.

I changed my mind set and my goals into the field of engineering. I started to tell myself that I'm more suitable to become AN ENGINEER. I just talked myself into it. I told all my friends and my family that I am going to be an engineer one day. That I will work with machines. Work with maths. Work with devices. In those two years, Form 4 and Form 5, I would answer people that I will walk into the path of engineering.

Engineering in my mind

But then I realized it's not engineering that I want 100%. I realized that I changed my mindset to engineering because I thought I had no chance in the medical field. I forced myself to believe that engineering is the only road to my success because my physics and addmaths are better than my biology according to my exam results. But being a doctor requires more than biology, it requires compassion, it requires patience, it requires a strong heart. Being an engineer requires more than physics or addmaths, it requires accurate decision-making, it requires careful consideration, it requires leadership. And all of them require PASSION. And I have not truly found mine yet because my passion now is in watching YouTube videos, doodling stuff, reading books, playing the piano...stuff like that.

Anyway I have this thing for autism and schizophrenia in children. I get attracted to videos of autistic and schizophrenic children and watch a lot of these documentaries on YouTube. Here's a video about the world of a schizophrenic child:


I have this new dream of becoming a therapist to help these children but once again I'm not 100% sure.

So all I'll do now is to study hard during my Pre-U course, gain lots of experiences through different people and activities, and most importantly, lay everything in God's hands and trust His plans. I believe that one day, God's calling will awaken me and plant me in the field which God thinks is the best for me so I can grow into a special plant and beautify this world. 

Marvel's Avengers
Or maybe one day I'll become one of the Avengers :P

Quote of the day: I don't know what tomorrow holds, but because I believe in Him, I know who holds tomorrow. ---Nick Vujicic



Blogging

Life is full of wonders, don't you think?
 
Hello! This isn't really my first time blogging, because I found out that I have blogged before in 2011 ---> http://thingsofallthings-ckly.blogspot.com/ (Here are my old posts back then) but I stopped for a very long time, that kind of stop whereby you suddenly lose that intense interest to do something and then you give up on it and forget it for A VERY LONG TIME. But now I'm suddenly back and this time it's serious blogging I'm going to do!

It was my friend Kimberley ---> http://kimberleychew.blogspot.com/ who motivated me to start blogging. She told me that blogging is a really good training for writing skills.


This is Kimberley, who has the world in her hands :)
 
And so both of us started writing on our blogs.

And there's also my friend's (Zoe's) sister, Abigail, who owns this really beautiful blog of her own. http://dandelionying.blogspot.com/ Her interesting posts gave me the desire to do something like her, and so here's my blog haha :D

 Quote Of The Day---A journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step.