Anything For You But This

This post is going to sound offensive to some people. 

I don't hate church. I just don't like going there.

It's tiring, you know, trying to believe in things that I don't really want to. Trying to commit myself to something I don't even prioritize. I can use all that time to SLEEP. Or to do other things that I am more interested in.  

Going to church is of course a responsibility to all Christians, a dedication and commitment to God whereby a Christian attends Sunday sermons to learn about God's words, to learn about the gospel, to attend the Holy Communion, and to strengthen his faith. To me, nothing changes whether I go or not go to church. I listen to preaches and sermons, but sometimes some things just don't make sense. There's no explanation to it, and it can be unacceptable for me. I know that not everything has an explanation, but in reality there are particular scenarios or events where everyone can accept without further questioning. In Christianity, there are still several happenings that I find it hard to accept, to believe in.

Stubborn me. But that's just the way it is to me. I have no intention of criticizing religious perceptions, histories, written facts and teachings. There is no wrong to believe in them. It all depends on the person.

Let's say, the power of prayers. Most of my friends believe in that. Once or twice, I did too. But as I grow I realize how powerful the mind can create things, to manipulate us into believing anything that satisfies us. Right now at this stage of life, for me, believing that God answered your prayer or God sent you a message is equivalent to your mind trying to make up an imaginary answer as a confirmation for you so you don't regret or feel any guilt at all in making a particular move or taking a particular action. And there's this thing that kinda bothers me. Whose prayer will God answer when both prayers are made at the same time? If a person prays for rain for a sign of confirmation, and when it rains, that person gets his answer. But what if, at the same time, there's that poor kid who has to walk home from school, soaked in rain, shivering in the cold? Fair enough?

To be honest, some things are just pure bullshit for me. 

*No offense*

But I have to try changing my perception of such pessimism to look at things as a glowing sun that can make flowers grow and bunnies hopping everywhere in green meadows. 

I'm trying for you.