One In A Million

Even when I stopped talking to you.
Even when I started avoiding you.
Even when I swore at you.
Even when I was curt and rude to you.
Even when I had someone else on my mind.
Even when I tore your fragile heart into pieces.
Even when I stopped telling you things.
Even when I unleashed my inner demons at you.
Even when I missed out a big part of your life.
Even when I went all emotional and weird in front of you.
Even when I snipped my long hair off.
Even when I wore basketball pants.
Even when I got an undercut.
Even when I was all hoodies and long jeans every college day.
Even when I am not at my best.
Even when I do not cook well.
Even when I stopped wearing dresses and skirts.
Even when I bite my nails.
Even when I am rough and clumsy.

You never change how you look at me.
You never judge me.
You never back out.
You never blame me.
You never hate me.
You never forget me.
You never give up.

You're my one in a million.

Thank you.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Have you ever tried giving everything you have to someone who means the world to you, yet in the end you realize you're nothing to that person? Have you ever felt like you're almost there, but when the harsh truth slaps you in the face, you wake up and realize that everything is just your foolish imagination?

Have you ever felt important to him or her, but harsh reality screams in your face that you're only being used?

Have you ever done something out of your comfort zone just for the sake of a person's happiness, and end up regretting over and over again?

Have you ever tried to meddle with fate and landed yourself in a pool of stupidity for messing with destiny?

Have you ever gone against your friends' advice and hold on to what you think is right, yet it turns out to be all wrong?

Have you ever wished you could just turn back time and decide not to start the whole thing in the first place?

I have had my heart broken for the very first time in my life. It's either no one's fault, or it's both sides' faults. There's no one side blaming kind of thing. There's no the wrong-er side. I keep telling myself that everyone has his or her own rights to do whatever he or she wants to, and I have no control over things. I keep reminding myself that people can choose. 

Even if it's going to hurt others.

People can choose for the sake of their own lives.

Keep telling myself that the world does not revolve around me.

That I have to go with what life offers me and throws at me.
That I have to learn to accept and embrace.

That I have to let go and move on.

That I have to forgive and forget.

That I have to think of myself too.

I just feel so stupid for caring too much about someone who doesn't even give a damn about me. I have left my heart vulnerable enough to be torn into pieces by tiny matters which I am not even supposed to even care about.

Oh fuck it. I have now sewn it back although it's a little disfigured but it's well protected and locked up. I'm going to save it for the right surgeon who'll know how to fix it perfectly. 

Yeah right. Girls and their prince charming dreams.

I'm going to keep those scars as a remembrance of the inner battles that were once within me. Those scars as a reminder for me to make the right choice, the right decision.

It's true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.